Friday, April 6, 2012

Scream!!!!

We have all had days were it seems like a good, loud, and long scream would make you feel better.i think I've had one of those years. It seems to be one thing after another almost daily. There are constant reminders of just how out of control of my life I really am. It's not just one part of it either. I've been hit every where and with everything. There are days, no weeks where moving to NYC sounds amazing. Anyone who knows my husband knows how much he loves the city and jokingly says he wants to live there. It's times when I think moving away is the answer is when I do my best thinking. Being driven to the point of running away is humbling. I tend to pray more then and always find comfort in my faith in my God. In the past few years I realize how vulnerable our life's are. Not just from a life or death point either. I mean we r all just a few paychecks, doctors appointments, test results and words away from a life that we don't know can exists for us. My life has been turned upside down so much I'm not sure what direction I'm going in. Please don't get me wrong, there is a point to my rant. In all my trials I've come to realize how EVERYTHING in this world will pass away. Relationships, money, cars,well, anything can be gone before you know they it had a chance to go away. Truth is I can't change most of the things that are going on in my life. But I have come to realize that even if all is taken away from me and I am all alone, God is still with me. He promises to never leave me. My burden may be big and I know I don't have all the answers but I do have faith. I thank God that He has seen be through so many things in my life. I know He is still here for me. I can hear Him when I finally get quite long enough to listen instead of demanding answers. The 23rd psalms comes to mind when I think about this. God doesn't promise to lead us around the valleys but guide us through them. We just need to learn how to follow Him.

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