BISCUITS AND GRAVY AND AMAZING RACE

Its Sunday night and the Amazing Race starts again tonight.  So what I doing?  Cooking biscuits and gravy.  Why because Matthew believes that we have to have that while we watch our favorite show.  That's just how it goes. This has been a busy week, I've looked back on memories of my dad has we marked 3 years since he's been gone.  Went to a doctors appointment with Matthew that has been 9 months in the making, just for them to run more tests, celebrated a holiday, spent a Saturday night with great new friends, and today said goodbye to my amazing uncle Red.  So much has went on this week my mind as been on hyper drive.  I have learned to lean on God and be thankful for all I have.  I am so blessed no matter how crazy or sad life can get.  On Valentine's day I thanked God for my amazing husband, Patrick, he has seen me in my darkest hours but still loves me.  He has held me as I cried and stressed out over so many of Matthews doctors appointments or test results.  He knows just what I need.  I've cried and I've laughed all this week.  Watched in amazement at the beautiful young lady Cheredith is becoming.  I've smiled with pride as Matthew played 2 basketball games and scored more points than I can remember. (lets just say I'm glad we don't pay him for baskets made.) I looked at him and at times see a typical little boy and then  within seconds see what challanges he will face becuase of his autism.  This is defenitly a crazy life.  I stay busy and usualy do some crazy things along the way but I wouldn't trade it, So as I write this and Amazing Race just ended and Biscuit and gravy is everywhere I can truely say I am blessed and happy. I can't wait to see what all God has in store for me.  I am inspired to be who God truely wants me to be.

I Love You This Much

Growing up my dad would look at me and ask how much did I love him and I would reply "I love you this much", and stretch my tiny arms out as far as they could go.  His smile would go from ear to ear.  It was just one of those things dads and daughters do.  As I grew our relationship changed.  Like all growing kids we didn't see eye to eye but he did the best he could do.  He took me to church, talked to me honestly and told me everything was going to be OK even if he didn't know if it would.  He lead me to Christ when I was 12 and did everything he could to answer all my questions about God and show me how much Christ loved me.  At 15 when my life was a mess I watched him turn me over to God because for once dad couldn't fix it for me, but he knew God could.  Now I set here with my son who if anyone knows me has had a difficult past year and I can't fix all his problems.  He is high functioning autistic and has many other health issues that are unclear.  We go tomorrow for an appointment we have been waiting 9 months on. I am reminded of my dad who turned me over to God and I am a better person for that.  I can't fix all Matthews problems and I'm not sure what all God has in store for him, but as a parent it is my job to know when no matter how hard I fight to help him or Cheredith ultimately God fights even harder.  When we ask Christ how much does He loves us.  He answers "I love you this much" and stretches His nailed scared hand out has far as they will go. I'm so glad that my dad taught me that growing up.  I didn't  have my dad as long as I would have liked but he loved me more than I could ever know.  Dad has been dead 3 years today.  I miss him daily, but am thankful for the knowledge that he left me.