I Love You This Much

Growing up my dad would look at me and ask how much did I love him and I would reply "I love you this much", and stretch my tiny arms out as far as they could go.  His smile would go from ear to ear.  It was just one of those things dads and daughters do.  As I grew our relationship changed.  Like all growing kids we didn't see eye to eye but he did the best he could do.  He took me to church, talked to me honestly and told me everything was going to be OK even if he didn't know if it would.  He lead me to Christ when I was 12 and did everything he could to answer all my questions about God and show me how much Christ loved me.  At 15 when my life was a mess I watched him turn me over to God because for once dad couldn't fix it for me, but he knew God could.  Now I set here with my son who if anyone knows me has had a difficult past year and I can't fix all his problems.  He is high functioning autistic and has many other health issues that are unclear.  We go tomorrow for an appointment we have been waiting 9 months on. I am reminded of my dad who turned me over to God and I am a better person for that.  I can't fix all Matthews problems and I'm not sure what all God has in store for him, but as a parent it is my job to know when no matter how hard I fight to help him or Cheredith ultimately God fights even harder.  When we ask Christ how much does He loves us.  He answers "I love you this much" and stretches His nailed scared hand out has far as they will go. I'm so glad that my dad taught me that growing up.  I didn't  have my dad as long as I would have liked but he loved me more than I could ever know.  Dad has been dead 3 years today.  I miss him daily, but am thankful for the knowledge that he left me.