Ok, let's see if this post actually gets posted.  Of all my faults, being easily distracted is one of my worst.  It is not only in my brain but in all that I do.  I have great intentions of course but there are way to many shiny things,  sick kids, animals and you name it and I am off to another task and thought.  So with that being said forgive me if I jump around in my post.

For the first time in a long time I am seeing some peace.  Mainly in my own life.  If you know me, you know my life is a mess.  I am a control freak.  So peace of mind in my current life is nothing short of a miracle.  Our son Matthew still proves to be a medical mystery.  We have traveled every where trying to get answers.  We have them but reality is it is all a waiting game.  A third surgery looks unavoidable.  We have found out he is Fructose Intolerance.  So no fruit, fructose, high fructose corn syrup, onion powder, and the list goes on and on.  So how do you keep a kid from loosing weight by taking food away?  I have no clue.  None and it shows.  This is just with Matthew.  Poor Cheredith gets my left over time alot but you wouldn't know by her reactions.  When we found out Matthews last surgery had failed and would be traveling to Cleveland, OH, it happened very fast.  She had been so excited to see her favorite band live, finally.  Thousand Foot Krutch, was going to be in town the day we had to leave to make it to his appointment.  When I talked to her about it, she responded, "I just want Matthew better".  Amazing.  What 13 year old says that?

To sum this all up.  I am blessed in my terrible mess.  My kids are great.  They love each other and who could ask for more.  Patrick is still married to me,  he hasn't started looking for a new wife yet.  And my faith in God is better then ever.  I don't have all the answers,  I never will.  I have no idea if I am handling this whole sickness mess right.  I pray, listen for peace and do my best to love others and my family the way the deserve.  So for a control freak to set back and enjoy the ride is a miracle.  This is not to say that some days I will be sad or discouraged, but in the end I have faith.